Depression Doesn’t Want You to Ask for Help

Thinking back, or even thinking about a current situation, have you found it difficult to ask for help? Or even to admit that something is wrong? Why is it so hard to reach out when we need help or support? When someone else is hurting or in need most of us would be quick to offer assistance.  Think about a time when someone you care about needed help.  Now, when you think of that situation what was your response? Did you stop to criticize or make judgments? Unlikely. Did you make fun of the person? Doubtful. Did you turn away from them? Did you do any of the things that you play in your head when you keep yourself from reaching out to others? Probably not. Because that’s not how most people respond to someone in need.  This same exercise can be applied to most of the excuses we give for not getting help when we need it.

For someone with depression, it can be very hard to ask for help.  Some people believe that therapy and medication won’t help.  I recently had a conversation with someone who likely has depression, along with a gambling addiction.  I encouraged her to find a therapist.  She was quick to say that a therapist cannot help her.  She has convinced herself that this is just the way she is and she has to deal with the hand she was dealt.  Now I am a firm believer in accepting the cards you are given and learning to make the adjustments needed to live your best life; however, that does not at all mean you cannot use resources to help yourself. Therapy can and does help.  Keep in mind what works for one person, may not work for you! Do your research and find a therapist that specializes in what you need.

Others don’t feel comfortable talking to strangers or they don’t know what to say. This is especially true if you have never reached out for help.  It can be uncomfortable and the feeling of talking to a stranger about your personal stuff may initially seem worse than what you are going through. It can also be hard to explain what we feel.  Maybe when you called to make an appointment you felt terrible, but the day of the appointment you feel great. That’s okay, go anyway. No one said you have to be crying, anxious, irritable, or angry when you talk to a therapist. Therapists understand how moods can change.  They can also help you put your feelings into words.

Some people may feel guilty about not being strong enough, or like a burden, or even feel like a failure. I am just going to ask a question here to put this into perspective.  If your child, parent, significant other, best friend, or coworker came to you with the problem you are having, would you see them as not being strong enough, a burden, or a failure? No. No you wouldn’t. So try treating yourself like you do those you care about.

People are reaching out to you. Commercials, social media, billboards, radio broadcasts, television programs, magazines are all telling you it is okay to ask for help.  We are losing too many people who didn’t ask for help. Their silence continues to break the hearts of their loved ones, while they are gone. If only they had reached out maybe they would still be here today.

The Universe will provide all that you ask for, but you have to ask! –Maitreya