Freedom of Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Can give you freedom, or can imprison you, your thoughts, your being. We are a culture that craves justice and demands retribution. We become so obsessed with getting our revenge we forget compassion, empathy, and the fact that we, too, need forgiveness.

We are wired to defend ourselves. We self-preserve.  Impulse first. Reflection later.

There is a payoff for refusing forgiveness. Some may feel in control, others prefer feeling anger.  Holding on to resentment may help some people ensure they do not let someone get away with hurting them.  Regardless of your payoff, the price of holding a grudge is much more costly than what you think.

Resentment takes up too much time.  You dwell on it. You replay how you were wronged. You visualize what you want to say to the wrongdoer. It consumes you. It takes over your thoughts.

Let’s stop for a minute and review a quote that is perfectly suited to add here.

To let go of wrongdoings it will take baby steps. You may forgive today and refuse forgiveness tomorrow.  View this as progress. You are willing to forgive

Remember, wasting time on being angry is useless. The person you are angry at is living life. They are free of the thoughts that could hold them back. You are the one trapped in an ongoing cycle of negativity

You think you are in control, but, you are not. You are being controlled. Maybe that’s the payoff

Oh the power you will feel when you let it go. Oh the freedom you will have. The restraints will be broken. Your life will have new direction and meaning.

Release the toxicity. Release the person who hurt you. Stop dragging them around with you.

Start healing.

But how, you ask?  Start with compassion. Think of a time you wronged someone. Are you remorseful? Do you hope that person forgives you? Give the same respect. Try it today.  Let go of a grudge, a jealousy, a wrongdoing, a resentment.  Let the bitterness go. Free yourself!

I’ll end with a remarkable act of forgiveness.

An 18-year-old was giving his victim-impact statement in court.  He was talking to the killer, while talking to the world.  Barely a year after his brother’s death, the 18-year-old was able to tell the killer he forgives her.  He not only told her he forgives her, but he asked the judge if he could hug her.  As they embraced, the nation watched in awe of this unbelievable, yet inspiring, act of grace.  What a powerful statement he made!

If 18-year-old Brandt Jean can extend forgiveness to his brothers’ killer so soon after his devastating loss, can we all at least consider extending forgiveness to those who have wronged us?  Put the power you have over your life, your thoughts, your actions back into your hands.

Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. –Jonathan Lockwood Huie