Many people hang on to their beliefs and to their behaviors because it has become a way of life for them. I am going to present you with Wayne Dyer’s the “I’m Circle,” which is used to avoid dealing with personal flaws or activities by justifying yourself using an “I’m.” We have all been guilty of this at some point in our lives, but some take part in the circle longer than others. Think back to when you have told yourself:
- I’m shy
- I’m clumsy
- I’m dumb
- I’m not good enough
- I’m ugly
- I’m fat.
- I’m skinny.
- I’m bad at English.
- I’m always making mistakes.
- I’m bad at picking relationships.
- I’m poor.
- I’m not a social butterfly.
- I’m bad at committing in relationships.
- I’m just blah.
- I’m poor with money.
- I’m never going to quit drinking.
- I’m a failure.
And the list goes on…Now use your “I’m” to replace the following scenario.
So, instead of using strategies and hard work to stay sober between the “I think I will not drink today” and the “Nope! Can’t do it!” he just went back to what was comfortable using an “I’m.” This cycle continues as long as he keeps feeding it. In the future, maybe he will say, “I know this is going to be hard, but I have to at least try” instead of just giving up and giving in. This “I’m” is a form of defense to justify behaviors and to lessen the guilt of not stopping the behavior. In addition, hanging on to the “I’m” allows us to avoid change. Change is hard. Change is uncomfortable. When looking at change in a long-term sense, it can be overwhelming. Maybe the person fears failure. Maybe he doesn’t think he has a problem. Maybe he like his behavior. Regardless of the reason, it is time to figure out why YOU are using an “I’m.” Break that cycle!
Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as being stuck somewhere you don’t belong. –Mandy Hale
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