Has anyone heard of the 5 Love Languages described by Dr. Gary Chapman? Well, if you haven’t, here is a brief synopsis of the five ways to speak and understand emotional love. To begin, we learn how to give and receive love as a child. We tend to demonstrate what we learned about love when we get into relationships as an adult. Overtime, one or both in the relationship may feel less loved than they did in the beginning of the relationship. A common reason for this phenomenon is people speak different love languages (Chapman,1995). Love to one person may mean their partner puts down the phone and listens, while another may feel loved when their partner makes a thoughtful gesture by taking care of a chore. You need to know your love language and you need to know your partner’s love language. This short blog isn’t going to give you that, but it will touch on some key points.
Words of Affirmation: Hearing genuine words about the reasons your partner loves you may be all you need to know you are loved. Your partner may feel loved when you leave words of affirmation somewhere inconspicuous.
Quality Time: Being present and attentive when together are ways to show love. Put your phone down and ask about your partners day to let them know you are interested.
Receiving Gifts: Receiving a gift, big or small, can show your partner you are thinking of them, and if you get creative, they will know you put a lot of effort into the gift. They will see this small gesture as a representation of your love.
Acts of Service: Taking your partner’s car to the gas station to fill it up, without being asked, or volunteering to do the dishes can speak volumes about your love. You are acting selflessly and doing something you don’t want to do. Your partner knows that and will know that you are showing love through these simple acts.
Physical Touch: A sweet kiss on the forehead or sitting close on the couch will reassure your partner you are physically present and desire to be close to them.
Now that you have a general idea of the different love languages, think about how you express love and how your partner expresses love. Are you meeting your partner’s love needs? Is your partner meeting yours? If not, sit down and talk about it. Discuss with your partner what it is that makes you feel loved and listen to your partner. Start practicing these love languages.
Love is a choice you make every day. –Gary Chapman
Chapman, G. (1995). The 5 love languages: The secret to love that lasts. Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers.
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