Are you about to be an empty nester? If so, it may be a time of conflicting feelings. A lot of reflection is happening. You may be questioning your purpose since that has primarily revolved around being a parent for 18 years. You may find yourself worrying about how your new adult child will adjust to being independent. You may also have concerns about your marriage and how you will adjust as a couple without having children in the home. These are all common feelings and thoughts; however, it is important to not fall into the thinking that leads to empty nest syndrome. Below are five tips that will help you make it through the early stages of being an empty nester.
1. Remember your ultimate goal as a parent.
The goal of parenting is to raise an independent adult who is driven to be successful. While you may have moments of wishing things would stay the same, you know that without change there is no growth. Don’t waste time on living in the past. Celebrate your success as a parent. You met your goal!
2. Own your feelings!
It’s okay to miss your kids. You may feel sad and shed a few (or several) tears. You may feel lonely. Would you expect any less? You just gave your last 18 years to being a full-time parent. Talk to your spouse or friends about your feelings, instead of keeping them bottled up.
3. Don’t stress if they don’t call every day.
As a parent, you want to make sure your child is okay, regardless of their age. This will not suddenly stop now that they are adults. Just remember that you have raised independent children who are out exploring new things. Pat yourself on the back and know they will call.
4. Avoid mothering your husband.
After being a mother for 18 years, it may be natural for you to turn your motherly attention to your husband. You may notice you are becoming overly critical. Stop! Take this time to get to know one another again. Many couples have not nurtured their marriage while raising children. They realize this once the kids have left home. Now is the time to rekindle the spark and if it seems impossible, try marriage counseling.
5. Do something for yourself.
You have spent the last 18 years putting others first. Your time, money, effort, thoughts, sacrifices, and energy have all been centered on your child. Now it’s you time. Plan a trip with your long-time friends. Have a spa day. Start a new hobby. Whatever it is, do it for you!
Enjoy this new phase of life and congratulations on your parenting accomplishments!
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