Many people will spend approximately 90,000 hours at work during their lifetime. That is a lot of hours spent with coworkers. We form relationships and friendships that sometimes stretch beyond the workplace. When a coworker dies, it can be difficult to accept. Recently, I lost a coworker. He was there the day before, happy and telling his usual funny stories, and that night he was gone. I really did not have a close relationship with him, so I found it surprising at how I was processing the news.
I think the first factor that caused such a strong reaction, was his age. He was a young, married father. I felt sad for what he would miss out on with his children, and for the loss his family would experience. Secondly, his loss was sudden. There was no time to prepare, or to say goodbye. I tell my coworkers bye every time I leave, so it seems unnatural not to be able to end our time with a goodbye. How we cope with loss depends on personal beliefs, experiences with loss, and other stressors we may be experiencing at the time of the loss.
If you find yourself struggling with accepting the loss of a coworker, it may benefit you to speak with a mental health professional. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with your coworkers, who are also experiencing the loss, can provide needed support. Utilize your Employee Assistance Program, which often offers counseling services to help with grief and loss. It may also help to join other coworkers in doing something kind for the family left behind. This could be to raise money, take food to the home, send flowers or cards, walk the dogs, invite the children to a playdate, help with yardwork, or anything the team can do together to honor their coworker, while helping the family.
The important thing to remember is grief is natural and unique. Acknowledge that you are grieving and allow yourself to express emotions. Seek support from coworkers and loved ones, and if you find that you need professional assistance, do not hesitate to contact your Employee Assistance Program, or a local mental health counselor.
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